Practice of pause in life and in singing
(Meditations on Life & Singing)
The practice of pause. Even the word even makes me flinch or falter. Pausing what is it? What is the purpose? How to do it? How to feel comfortable with it? Why do we do it? Why do it we need it?
A pause is ‘a temporary stop in action or in speech.’ It is the moment when nothing around you is moving and you feel you should be doing, but instead, you pause. It is an unknown place. It can be a frightening place. It is like you are waiting for something to happen. You are trying to make something happen, but you have paused so all trying ceases and you just have to allow something new to arrive.
I started to pause on the 29th May 2018. I was working on my new business Simply Sing and it started confusing me. I just couldn’t find myself in it. I felt disconnected from it. I wasn’t sure where to go or what to do, so I decided I needed to stop. Going against everything people had told me in my first year of starting a business- ’12 hour days and definitely don’t stop.’ I decided that this advice was digging me further into the wrong place.
So I went away to one of my favourite places, an island off Malta called Gozo. I completely stopped. I paused fully. Initially, I thought it was amazing but then in the pause, I started cracking up. My mind didn’t like it. I thought stopping was giving up. I thought that there was something wrong with me as I was no longer doing all the time. I was just sitting back and forcing a stop. Yes, it was a force initially and I hated it immensely for a couple of weeks. But as of today, I finally found the magic in taking a pause. I found this unfolding peace come over my spirit and my soul. I am starting to see the new path I need to go on. I have completely refreshed my connection with Simply Sing and it feels so much more me. I feel at refreshed in the knowledge I will find my way, pausing is necessary and always doing is not the only way to function.
In this period, I also stopped singing. For someone who so loves singing, I thought no singing, what is wrong with me? But I knew to pause my singing for a period of time was essential too so I could realign back to me and my voice. And yes, the pausing worked. I started singing last week and there was this fragility in my voice, almost vulnerability that I hadn’t had before. I felt quite uncomfortable getting back into it every day but something new at the same time had come out. My voice was clearer and freer. It was like in the time that I paused I allowed my voice to grow. I had found a new sense of peace with it. There was this calmness in it. There was a space, an openness, a sense of the real me coming out more. I thought the pause was wrong for my voice and that I must be losing it by doing that. But amazingly it helped me to find a renewed connection to my singing voice.
The most precious times in singing are when a singer takes a pause, a breath, a moment. It is in like in pure ecstasy they arrive at a new point. They do not force it but allow the sound, notes, the music, the breath to carry them there. It is so precious to listen to.
Pausing is not giving up. Pausing is not losing yourself. Pausing is not detrimental to developing a new business, it actually enhances a new business. Pausing is not a loss of voice or an uncomfortable moment. Breathing, without the midway pause is impossible. Pausing is actually essential life force in itself.
So, if you are wondering should you take a pause in your life as everything is going too fast for too long, I say do it. Or if you are wondering whether to take a pause from your singing for a little bit, go for it. Knowing that once you come back to you and your voice, you will find something completely new. I can tell you I did.